The fire I began
by geekysparkle
Summary: "He's going to pass out. Here, now, in the middle of the ratty kitchen of the Shibuya Mansion with Hachiouji Rui gripping his shoulder." Toki is injured, sick and mostly not in denial, and Prince is the only one who knows how to take care of people. No ships whatsoever, worried big sister Rui and awkward Ogami. At least he's trying.


_**This series is one of my old favorites and if someone still likes it or even remembers it I will be elated.**_

 _ **This is set between chapters 88 and 89, as there are "a couple of days" between them and it's literally the only slot I can use if I want Toki in the mansion and the casts off his arms.**_

XxX

"Toki-kun?" comes the question. "Are you sure you're alright?" Again. Toki grits his teeth and takes a deep breath to calm his nerves. He's not going to blow up now, not going to snap at Sakura even though this is probably the fifth time she's asking the exact same question. He's exhausted and aching all over, but that's not something the others need to know. His head feels like there's a band around it, tightening as the minutes tick by. The cool surface of the table he's currently leaning on is somewhat of a saving grace - he's quite sure he would be puking his guts up by now, if it wasn't for that.

Not like it isn't going to happen in the next few hours, but for now he tries to fight it. So he keeps his forehead to the table and mumbles a hopefully irritated-sounding, "Still sure" that probably comes out way more pitiful than he intended. He can feel Sakura's eyes staring at him from the other side of the table, just as he can feel Yuuki's gaze on him from the corner of the room. It's silent, save for the quiet whirring of the fan rotating on the table between him and Sakura and Yuuki's occasional mumble of the weird Nyanmaru song. Toki himself is begging for the sweet release of unconsciousness, or preferably death, to get away from the general god-awful feeling of malaise.

Toki doesn't think he's slept in the past week. Actually, he probably hasn't slept in the past few years, but that he can put on the account of his manipulative ass of a father and the fact that he has to protect his sister from the prime minister of Japan.

Right now, he's feeling those sleepless nights way heavier than what he's used to. He knows the feeling of feeling physically ill upon waking up from two and a half hours of sleep, and this is not it. He thinks he might have a fever, but he doesn't want Sakura fussing over him. Just the thought of someone touching him right now makes his skin prickle and hurt. Every breath he takes sends a wave of nausea through his body and aggravates his head even further and his skin feels a tad too tight. His head feels like it's full of rocks, or maybe blocks of iron and something is trying to pull them out. He feels sick.

The monotonous whirring and the cool flow of air eventually lull him to sleep. It's dreamless and dark, and when he wakes up to Prince's cold hand on his forehead he feels even worse than before. A quick glance at the clock on the wall tells him he's slept for maybe two hours, but now there's also a stabbing pain in his head in addition to the nauseating pressure.

Rui's eyes are close and intense, carefully studying Toki's face. There's a slightly startled look to them, as if she wasn't expecting him to wake up, but she doesn't pull back until after a few seconds.

Toki doesn't really have energy to react, so he closes his eyes again and channels the last remnants of his dwindling focus to ward off the pain rather than snap at Prince.

Rui doesn't move, though. Her presence stays beside Toki, radiating heat and authority. Because even though Toki is reluctant to admit that anyone has authority over him, he also recognizes that Rui holds authority over everything and everyone she lays her eyes upon.

The one single exception would be his father.

It's clear that Rui isn't just going to leave him alone. Toki also knows that he isn't going to give in and actually admit aloud how horrible he actually feels. It's a game he doesn't really have any energy to play, this battle of the wills he knows he's going to lose, but he clenches his fists and does anyway.

The clock tick-tock-ticks on the wall, the sound amplified in the otherwise silent room, and neither of them does anything. Rui's presence doesn't move, and Toki keeps his eyes closed and head on the table.

Eventually, to Toki's surprise, it's Rui who gives in. First she shifts, one leg moving from the previous cross-legged position to in front of her, and sets her wrist on her knee. Toki cracks an eye open, just barely but enough to see what she's doing.

There's another moment of silence, during which Rui leans back and cranes her neck, and Toki tenses in anticipation. He knows he's going to lose this.

"Toki," Rui finally starts, her voice too loud in the quiet space. It stabs at Toki's head, straight through his ears and eyes directly into his brain and it takes all the self-control he has not to show how much a two-syllable word just made him want to die of pain. Instead, he makes a noncommittal grunt that could probably be interpreted as "yeah?" or something similar.

"How long have you been sick?" she continues.

"I'm not," he mumbles, the response automatic to such a question. Rui's expression reveals she doesn't believe him for a second.

She goes for a different tactic than Toki anticipated. Instead of arguing with him and insisting on it, she looks him in the eyes and, very slowly, drawls, "Really."

Then she practically jumps up, the motion looking way too easy for Toki. The act of clenching his fists requires too much energy. He's slightly terrified at what Prince has in mind, now, because he was fully expecting an argument along the lines of am not and are too.

He's almost hoping she would leave him alone, but no. He's not that lucky, because the second he decides that it's safe to close his eyes again, Rui cracks her back and opens her mouth.

"Get up," she tells him, and it's that moment when Toki knows he's royally screwed. He's exhausted, he's in pain and he's fairly sure his knees will betray him the second he even attempts standing up. He's fairly sure his stomach will do the same thing and the end result will be him on the floor throwing his guts up.

Somewhere at the back of his head there's a small voice of hope, though. Maybe, just _maybe_ he could make it to his room. If he manages to actually get up from the floor where he's been sitting for the past few hours and walk down the hallway, he'll be in his room without people trying to fuss over him, actually lying down and under a blanket.

That is, in the case that Prince actually lets him leave just like that.

That is, in the case he actually manages to get up.

He tries, anyway. His arms are already screaming in pain even though he _knows_ he's taken his painkillers today, and the simple act of bracing his hands on the edge of the table and putting weight on his arms is almost enough to send his stomach up his throat. The pain from them explodes near his elbows and travels right down to his fingertips and up to his shoulders and neck, and he has to take a second to draw a deep breath or two.

Rui observes him all the while, not offering her help or saying anything. However, the second time he almost crashes right into the table, she does move a little closer. On the third try he gets his knees under him.

His hands are shaking against the wood. His arms are shaking, his shoulders, legs, everything is shaking and he's suddenly freezing, a cold wave washing over him and paralyzing his lungs on its way.

The next thing he knows, there's a hand on his left shoulder, blue hair at the edge of his vision that's now blurring quite worryingly, jumbled-up words in his ear barely audible through the sudden rush of blood that drowns out everything else. Numb, his arms feel numb, he can't feel his fingers, the awful tingling sensation spreads all over his body and Prince's voice in his ears grows louder and-

He's going to pass out. Here, now, in the middle of the ratty kitchen of the Shibuya Mansion with Hachiouji Rui gripping his shoulder and no one having any idea what exactly is happening or _why_.

Black spots flood his vision, blocking the blue of Rui's hair, and he gives in to the pull of nothingness.

XxX

An airy whimper leaves Toki's lips and the boy goes limp. Rui manages to catch him before his head hits the table, fast reflexes reacting before she's even aware of her arms moving.

She realizes she's still shouting Toki's name when she hears a rush of footsteps from the hallway. Yuuki's red hair appears first and Ogami isn't far behind, both looking like they're prepared to fight, but the sight in front of them stops them short. Ogami's posture deflates quickly and he freezes at the door, but Yuuki moves towards the centre of the room. He stops a few steps away.

"What's wrong with Fourth?" he asks, crouching down and crossing his arms on his knees. Ogami takes a few tentative steps closer, too.

Careful with the deadweight in her arms, Rui gently lowers Toki's body to the floor. She barely spares a glance at the boys, instead focusing on the fact that Toki's skin feels warm, way, way too warm, while his hands feel like they're freezing. She's about to move to lift his feet higher when Toki groans.

A blue eye cracks open, quickly followed by a brown one and the hazy look on Toki's face indicates that he has no idea what's going on. He's pale, the dark circles under his eyes contrasting his ghostly complexion further, and there's a fine sheen of sweat on his forehead.

Ogami steps quietly closer and crouches down much like Yuuki, though he lets his other knee rest on the floor. There's no irritation in Toki's eyes, no unspoken _out of my personal space_ or _what the fuck are you doing_ , and the lethargy is quite worrying.

However, the second Ogami's hand moves toward Toki's face, there's a hand around his wrist and sudden defiance on Toki's face. There's a flash of pain, too, and Ogami glances at Toki's hand to find it shaking.

"Hands off," Toki growls, voice rough and tight, and Ogami retreats his hand the second Toki lets go of it. He's not going to start a fight now, not when Toki doesn't stand a chance, not when he's sick and still injured, so he doesn't shoot back even though he usually would. He doesn't move away, though - Toki can glare at him all he wants, but the feverish glow in his eyes dulls the effect considerably. Ogami glances at Rui instead.

It comes as no surprise that Rui has better luck in regards of checking Toki's fever. The frown on her face tells everything that needs to be known, but she still orders Yuuki to go find a thermometer.

Toki's dull eyes follow the movement in the room slowly. His breathing sounds labored, _wrong_ for a trained assassin, and the tremor in his hands tells tales of things Ogami would rather not think about.

Then there's a twitch.

All the color, what little of it was left, drains from Toki's face. There's a quiet, distressed sound that Ogami is pretty sure just came out of Toki's throat even though he's never heard the other boy making any sound akin to that even in his Lost form, not when both of his arms were in casts and slings and he could barely move his fingers, not when he was Lost _and_ couldn't use his arms.

Heterochromic eyes grow wide and Ogami _realizes_.

He has Toki turned on his side in mere seconds, time not allowing him to watch how he does it even though he's sure _everything_ hurts Toki's arms. He's not a second too early, and at least Toki is not lying on his right side (the shoulder, the goddamn _shoulder_ ).

Toki gags and his limbs instinctively move closer to his torso, knees coming closer to his chest and arms, still shaking, curling around his stomach. Rui is moving, her hands pulling strands of blond hair away from Toki's face, and Ogami moves back. It's not like he can do anything, now - he's just glad Prince knows how human contact works. Or any of this, really.

Rui murmurs something Ogami doesn't quite catch, her voice low and soothing. Toki coughs and then gags again, and Prince continues talking to him.

Even she, however, isn't allowed to touch more than necessary. She tries to place her hand between Toki's shoulder blades, but the flinch she gets in response makes her reel back. It's not an outright "don't touch" like what Ogami received for even trying, but it's enough of an indication of discomfort for Rui to let it go.

Toki heaves and retches, and somewhere in there is a horrible whimper, and Rui isn't sure if it's because of the nausea or the pain.

Because Toki is definitely in pain.

She doesn't have time to finish that train of thought, though, because the next thing she knows the contents of Toki's stomach are spilling on the floor and his body convulses. And screw it, she decides - Toki is getting a supportive hand on his back whether he wants it or not.

Toki's entire body is shaking from exertion, exhaustion, pain, _something_ , and all Rui can do is rub his back and try to talk him through it as he hacks up another bout of sick. She's pretty sure there are tears in his eyes, though they are squeezed shut.

There's a soft noise as Yuuki enters the room again, and Rui hopes he has the thermometer she asked for, but right now it's not really important. What's important right now is that Toki doesn't choke on his own vomit, because that would be a very lame way for a Code:Breaker to go, and that he hopefully won't pass out again.

Time passes, though she doesn't know how much of it, and finally Toki seems to calm down, if only enough to take a decent breath instead of the shallow wheezing. He's still shaking badly, and Rui doesn't really expect him to stop anytime soon. Sweat is beading at his hairline and his whole body is tense, fingers curling inwards but not exactly forming a fist.

When she's sure Toki isn't going to throw up anymore, Rui finally rolls him on his back. It's a good thing Rei had reacted fast, but she still doesn't like the fact that Toki was lying on his arm like that. He can claim that his arms are fine as many times as he wants, but they're still bandaged and it's still a lie. It's been just days since the casts were removed.

"Rei," she calls without really looking at his direction. Ogami's head perks up. "Help me get Toki to his room." Toki makes a disgruntled noise that turns into a cough, and this time Rui lifts him into a sitting position, rather than rolls him back on his side. "Now's the time to swallow your pride," she tells him. Of course she gets that Rei helping Toki is not the most ideal situation for either of them, but Yuuki is a good deal shorter than him.

It's rare to see Rei so careful with something, Rui thinks when Ogami moves to the other side of Toki. Especially with his long-standing rival she doesn't think she's ever seen such display of tenderness. Maybe he feels a bit guilty about the stab-wound in Toki's shoulder, though she would have never imagined him having actual human emotions.

Maybe it's Sakura's influence, Rui muses.

Getting up from the floor is difficult, to say the least. Toki's knees give out before they're even standing, and he goes alarmingly gray with the motion. Trying to spare Toki's arms is another difficult task, and in the end Ogami hoists him up and carries him bridal-style to his room. Toki doesn't protest beyond the surprised, hoarse yelp when his feet are suddenly lifted up.

He's lighter than Ogami remembers. Not light like Yuuki and his skinny, 15-year-old body, but still lighter than Ogami remembers him being the last time they fought, and that was only a few weeks ago. It's not like he's worried, not really, because he doesn't particularly care about Toki besides the fact that he's _annoying_ , but the uncomfortable tug in his chest is still there.

Maneuvering his way through the narrow hallways isn't easy, even with Prince's help, and neither is lowering Toki onto his futon once they finally reach his room. If Toki was in a better condition, Ogami would seriously consider just dropping him unceremoniously on the floor and walking away.

If Toki was in a better condition, he wouldn't be carrying him in the first place.

Yuuki trails after them, his bare feet shuffling close behind and the thermometer still in his hands. He settles in a corner of Toki's room, drawing his knees close to his chest in a manner that tells he'll probably be upside down in minutes.

After the quick check-up Rui performs on Toki's arms, as well as a brief look at his ribs, she finally retrieves the thermometer and promptly sticks it under Toki's armpit. She sends Ogami to gather a bowl of water and a clean rag of some sort, and sits down next to Toki.

He's not shaking anymore, but he's not doing anything else, either. His eyes are open and his head is turned to Rui's direction, but they're unfocused and dazed.

Ogami is back before the thermometer beeps, which is slightly concerning.

When it finally does, Yuuki nearly jumps at his place in the corner, and Toki flinches. Rui frowns at the high number of 39.2 degrees Celsius and sets the damp cloth Rei brought on Toki's forehead.

She doesn't realize Rei has brought something else, too, until he starts wrapping ice packs in towels and setting them on Toki's arms. She allows herself a little smile at the scene - Rei has difficulties showing his feelings, but he does really care.

As the darkness outside begins to set in, Rui gently shoos Ogami and Yuuki out of the room. Toki has fallen asleep, but she wants to watch over him a little longer. His brow is furrowed in what she assumes is pain, or perhaps fever dreams, and she doesn't feel comfortable leaving him alone just yet. The three-year difference in their ages seems much bigger right now than it usually does - Toki looks so very young without his cocky grin or the revenge in his eyes. Not as young as his Lost form, of course, because his Lost form _is_ a child, but right now seventeen seems like an awfully young age.

"Get better, Fourth," Yuuki mumbles from the door, half-asleep, before Ogami quietly closes it.

XxX

 _ **I'm a slut for feedback so if you liked it, please drop a review! Or if you didn't like it, feel free to tell me why. Feedback doesn't always have to be flowers and sunshine.**_

 _ **That being said, I hope you enjoyed it!**_


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